


This Ship Will Never Be Canon.

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [28]
Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Badly Written, Cockblocking, Crack, F/M, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-28 19:20:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13910499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: Morty steals Rick's portal gun so he can ask out Jessica without any interruptions.He doesn't realise that Rick has more than one...





	This Ship Will Never Be Canon.

**Author's Note:**

> A bit short because this is a spinoff of a full length fanfiction that I'm in the process of writing in which Jessica and Morty travel to other dimensions in an attempt to get home after getting stuck in some random world. Although I do ship them, that fanfiction probably won't ship them.
> 
> In other notes, we now have over 1000 hits on this collection! Thank you so much to everyone who has read and left kudos so far- I'm surprised that so many have seen my piece of trash self humouring writing! I made this so I'd have something to stay committed to this year, so I know it's not very entertaining and the quality really varies between oneshots, but I'm so happy that you took the time to take a look at my work! THANK YOU!!!!

It was Valentine's Day. Couples wandered the school halls loved up and happy, lonely people wistfully gazed after them and wished that someday they would find their valentine. But Morty Smith wasn't just any lonely person. He was a proactive forever alone, and today was the day that he would finally ask out the love of his life- Jessica.

After a long time of planning everything out, he had finally worked up the courage to steal Rick's portal gun (and almost die in the process) so that his grandfather couldn't drag him off to God knows where on some inane adventure in the middle of his romantic exploits. Now all he had to do was walk up that beautiful redhead just three lockers down from him and ask her out on a date. That was it. No problem, right?

Wrong. Standing by his locker, Morty felt nothing but absolute terror as he fumbled with the combination. Not only was Rick going to kill him for stealing the portal gun, Jessica had only just broken up with Brad and would probably reject him instantly. And what about her friends? They already seemed to hate him, so there was no way that they would let him ask her out! It was so unfair- every time he even got close to talking to her, someone or something (usually Rick) would interrupt.

Couldn't he just be happy for once?

Then it happened. She walked around the corner to her locker, and time slowed. Copper curls swaying about her shoulders elegantly as she effortlessly sashayed into Morty's peripheral vision, she quickly and easily entered her combination and started removing books for her locker.

'Jessica... '

Wait! No! He was getting distracted. He needed to act now, while she was still alone! Morty hurried over to her, trying not to look to desperate so she didn't get freaked out. He went over the lines that he had practised a million times in his head before finally forcing out a few stumbled over words.

"Hey, uh, J-Jessica?" Smooth. He'd nailed it! She turned to him, and he bit back a gasp at how beautiful her eyes were up close. A gorgeous shade of blue, almost teal in the too-bright lights of the school corridor.

"Hi... You're... um... Morty, right?" 'Woah... she actually knows my name?' Morty was more than a little shocked. He was pretty sure that Jessica hadn't even looked his way before. It really was amazing how she had even given him the time of day when she was so brilliant. 'So kind... So beautiful... So... perfect....' -he was getting distracted again, and he was now keeping her waiting too. Fuck.

"Y-yeah, that's, uh, t-that's me. Morty Smith." He was being so cool and flirtatious! Or, at least he hoped he was. Jessica offered him a small smile. Weirdly enough, it looked sort of condescending, like the way one might look at a lost puppy. He ignored it- just a trick of the light for sure.

"Well, Morty, what can I do for you?" Her voice was so incredible...

"Uh, w-well, y'see, I was wondering if -um- if y-you'd maybe like to g-go out w-with- um-" Morty's stuttering was becoming even worse, and he found that he could barely say a thing. But he supposed that it didn't matter any more because he'd already been slammed against the opposite wall in a flash of green and white.

There, standing before him with a firm glare, the portal behind him illuminating his lab coat in an unearthly green glow, was Rick Sanchez, master cockblocker and smartest man in the universe.

"M-Morty, give me back my portal gun, y-you bAOUGH- dumb piece of shit." The blue haired scientist slurred, already yanking open Morty's locker and rifling through it for the gun. He found it in two seconds flat despite Morty's efforts to hide it and held it out with a terrifying gaze. Morty stared back up at him and prayed to all the non-existent gods in the multiverse that he wouldn't die just yet.

With a faint smirk, Rick grabbed Jessica by the wrist using one hand and opened a portal right under where Morty was lying with the other, throwing the redhead through as Morty fell with a yelp of surprise.

The portal closed above them to the sound of Rick's laughter.

'Oh geez...'

**Author's Note:**

> The end was kinda unclear, so here's what happened:
> 
> Rick had another portal gun because he's not stupid enough to only own one which could easily be broken or (as seen here) stolen by either Morty or Jerry, but he's also petty so he went to get the gun back from Morty. Instead of just yelling at him, he saw what he was trying to do with Jessica and just teleported them both into a miscellaneous (and dubiously safe) dimension to get back at Morty.
> 
> Chaos ensues.
> 
> Prompt- Straight pairing~
> 
> I love Morty and Jessica, but I ship lots of pairings in the R & M fandom, so I'm cool with most things. Most of my ships involve either Jerry or some dimension's Morty weirdly enough. Even though this is my first R & M fanfic, most of my bookmarks are Rick and Morty so it's probably a little confusing~
> 
> Original Number- 185.


End file.
